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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Carlos

PART III: The Phoenix in Me

Updated: Jul 8, 2022

Why did I start painting again?

A silhouette of a girl standing at a beach looking at the sunrise. The text on the top left reads, Go for it.
In Pagudpud, Ilocos, during my northbound backpacking trip

During my extreme wanderlust fueled by frustrations at work, relationships and life in general, I took a leap and left my comfort zone. I quit my job as a digital colorist and traveled. I longed to see a bigger world and vowed to do just that.

The Unknown Beckons

I began my journey in the northern part of my country, the Philippines. As I was all alone on that trip that would change my life, under the stars I prayed for my loved ones and then surrendered myself to fate. Since then I've been to places, seen a lot and grown so much more. I also learned that I cannot have all that I wished for.

I thought it would be the end of me...

Flash forward in 2015, Germany—Not even a year in my marriage, I was diagnosed with endometrioid adenocarcinoma, otherwise known as cancer of the uterus. I thought it would be the end of me—as a woman who cannot bear a child or as a person who has no purpose. Instead, this terrible disease woke me up. It made me reset so many aspects in my life: One is giving my art a second chance as life gave me a second chance to live. Now I only want to draw and write just like I used to when I was still young and naive. The difference is I have grown.

A hand letteringin white and gold that reads, The Universe speaks to me I shall listen on a black background with white dots and gold stars

One is giving my art a second chance as life gave me a second chance to live.

Learning to Listen

The things I have seen, places I have been, experiences I have gained, and people I have met have all conspired to bring me to this place where I can finally free myself from desolation and embrace my innate creative gifts—something that I have put on the side as I was traversing the numbing world of adulthood. I have always been a creative person and now I am more comfortable being an artist.

‘Share your talent to the world,’ said my mother. And so here I am.


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